One, I don’t know ANY writers who share before the book is out there…I mean REALLY. This is my baby (one of them). And in DRAFT format. But, I had a few requests…and I do love my online and virtual friends…so, here goes….be KIND. Remember, DRAFT, means NOT EDITED.
This is an excerpt from Book 3 in my Elemental Goddess Chronicles: ICED.
I am sure it needs work…I’m looking for an agent or an editor – everyday, I’m sending out more query letters…following the process with Book 1 while I edit book 2 and WRITE book 3. More importantly, I’m working on my WRITING. So, here, because a few have asked… a hint into the Goddess of Water, Glacial.
Glacial groaned. Her body protested as she tried to move. She went to move her hands…her feet…and felt locked into place. Painfully, she pried open her eyes. Shackles. She eyed them from lowered lashes. Cold hard metal bit into her back, her legs, her arms. Whoever gave her this splitting headache might need a sound beating from one of her sisters. She hurt to badly to mesh it out herself. This being bound thing was overrated. She didn’t care what Demetri wanted to do in the future, but tying her up wasn’t high on her list.
“Taking you long enough to wake up.” A voice drawled.
Blackness flowed over her. She shivered. Her eyes cut open, hazy. She was getting used to the vision impairment, but stars, she was going to make someone blind on purpose to retaliate. Thank the stars, whoever had clothed her. She could feel the brush of cool silk against her skin. She hadn’t relished opening her eyes and finding herself naked. Really, it was the least of her worries, but somehow, that gave her a small sense of peace.
She’d shown up places worse.
“You really know how to treat a lady.” She took a deep breath and opened her eyes fully. Her gaze, cleared, immediately landed on the semi naked man in front of her. Black pants, bare, heavily, angrily tattooed chest. Oh, someone was not a happy soul. His hand played with a symbol, a necklace. Her eyes trailed up…dark eyes…dark hair.
“You.” Shock swept through her.
A dark eyebrow twitched at her. His jaw strong and locked, an eyebrow raised at her, insanity swirling in his eyes. Rais…demon. The one who’d trapped Phyxe. But he was not the God of Chaos. She didn’t sense that kind of instability. She got his instability, but the energetic threads were wrong somehow. His felt contained, trapped. The man before her was very stable, very focused, normally. She could see the threads. And then, they halted. What was wrong with him?
“Yes, me.” He moved closer as if enthralled. “You are not afraid.”
“I am not. You cannot harm me. Just contain me…for a while.” Glacial smiled, realizing it was true. And the sudden realization swept over her that this demon was just as trapped as she was. While she didn’t want to have to resurrect…she would do so. Demetri had already lives thousands of years. She would find him again if she needed to.
“Contain. Interesting term.” He drew closer. His eyes were a little wild. He leaned closer, the necklace dangled…and Glacial noted the emblem. Chaos.
He was just as trapped as she was.
Her eyes darted up to his. Wildness strived to balance.
“Interesting dance, Demon lord.” She whispered, glancing at his necklace. Then she let her eyes raise to his.
“Yes. We all bow to a higher power, don’t we?” A wicked smile crossed his face, but a panic, awareness, swirled in his eyes before being tramped down. He moved closer, his lips near her ear. “He can hear everywhere. I will not harm you if I can. But I cannot promise.”
Glacial turned her head, her lips near his ear, “Do what you need to do to survive. We are pawns right now. We will resurrect you if need be.”
“Thank you, lady.” He whispered before drawing back, chaos in his eyes. “You will remain here until we destroy New Earth.”
Panic flared, even with his recent words. NO! Demetri! “You cannot destroy New Earth!”
“We can and we will.” Rais tilted his head. His jaw tightened. The only panic flaring in his eyes. “The MarsSook have done less to other planets. This one needs a lesson…and there are so many who can be sold.”
Glacial frosted over. Ice stole over her skin. She could not allow the destruction of New Earth. While she longed to set Demetri’s sister Ilysa on her ass, she would not condone the destruction of an entire planet she shared with Gaian for nothing more than housing her.
Ice extended from her to the chair. A crystal shell formed around her. She watched as Rais turned a shocked, but somehow happy gaze on her. The ice reached out and began to seep down into the metal around her.
She felt the whisper flow over her, “Fight it. Goddess, because you and your sisters might be my only hope.”
I don’t normally share…but here it is…I have been writing since I was in the 2nd grade. God bless my mother, I still have that first story. And that was tonight’s writing… in the raw.
Love it, even in draft form. The characters are very “real”, and very intriguing. I really love how you described him.
Yummy!
Of course now I have a whole bunch of snippets of another world, magic rules, gods, demons, etc…and so I need the rest… LOL Looking forward to reading the whole thing someday!
Oh yeah – the more you share, the easier it gets…I highly recommend it.
Jamie..I love you!! LOL… that was So hard to share..in DRAFT format.
The transformation into another world and time was immediate…Thank-You so much for sharing. Cannot wait for the release. Where would one find the first 2 in this series?
Sounds very interesting. Like the tension you built here and, of course, your heroes are always totally hot! Can’t wait to read it.
You know what I love about this scene….Rais isn’t the hero. He’s the hero in book 4! He’s just being all sorts of mysterious in Book 3.
WAC – Books 1 & 2 are in the query and edit process respectively. I’ve been agent hunting this month, which reminds me…need to send out more queries before heading out fo the day!
Ooh, love naked writing! Seriously, it’s amazing, not that I’m surprised. You’re well on your way towards publication. Thanks so much for sharing. You and your work are inspiring.
(This is @smoulderingsea from Twitter. Toldja I’d get over here some time today.)
I enjoyed it. There are problems with structure, word use, spelling, grammar, etc…but it’s a rough draft, as you said, and no doubt you’ll catch those things in edits. The only thing that really bothered me was excessive use of passive voice. The characters, setting, and voice held my interest and kept it throughout the entire passage, though, and really entertained me. You built a gripping scene and it made me want to read more.
Deb, thank you! Always a challenge to post up something so very raw.
Adri, thanks for stopping by! And yes, definitely a draft. LOL. Writing without editing as you go is a challenge. Not to mention, the computer slows down and can’t keep you with my typing speed some nights